I love cats. I really do. I’ve known some great cats over the years. Some of my best friends are cats.
Now that that’s out of the way (phew), let’s tackle the subject of this week’s HDYGG: The neighborhood cats are using our yard as a litter box.
They’re dropping deuces all over the place, from the backyard where, much to my chagrin, our dog regards their deposits as delectable treats, to our front yard, where the soft soil of our new vegetable beds brings them immense pooping pleasure (file that under “Phrases I Never Thought I’d Write”).
There are a lot of cats on our street—some of them pets, and some of them feral. Actually, most of them are feral. This is primarily because our neighbor two doors up leaves dry food on her driveway for them, and encourages them to take catnaps on her property. So, it’s no surprise that they regard our yard as the local latrine.
I would never want to hurt an animal, no matter how much it pooped on my parsnips. I’m an animal-loving vegan, for Dog’s sake. I need to find a humane, harmless way to keep these feline fertilizers from fouling our yard. Ideally, the effective cat deterrent will be just as offensive to dogs and squirrels: A number of people in our hood walk their pooches off-leash, and the pups get a real kick out of trampling my newly planted natives. And of course, dissuading the local squirrel squad from TPing our yard again would be an added bonus, too.
With all of that in mind, I searched far and wide for ideas on how to offend our furry friends. Some seem promising, some seem questionable. Here’s what I found:
Eau de Cayenne: Rumor has it that cats don’t like the heat of cayenne pepper or the stink of garlic, and that mixing the two in water and spraying around your yard will keep kitties out. You can also try dusting your yard with a dry mix of 2 parts cayenne pepper, 3 parts dry mustard, and 5 parts flour. RISKS: Some people claim that cayenne can be dangerous to cats in the sense that if the pepper gets in their eyes, they might scratch their own eyes out. Curry powder and garam masala have also been rumored to work, and might be safer.
Human Hair: Though you’d never want to find a hair in your coleslaw, sprinkling human hair clippings in your cabbage patch has been said to keep critters—including cats—away. Local salons would probably be happy to donate to the cause.
Mothballs: My Nana Anna (of blessed memory) always smelled like mothballs, and I never saw any cats around her. Apparently they hate the smell, and will keep their distance if you litter your garden with them, but seeing as how mothballs are made of toxic chemicals, I don’t know why you’d want to do that. RISKS: They’re toxic, and therefore a danger not only to cats, but also to dogs, wild animals, and even to children. If you must use them, drop them into jar, seal well, and stab a few holes in the cover. The offending smell will waft out, but access will be limited.
Citrus Peels: When life gives you cats in your garden, make lemonade. Some people say that cats hate the smell of citrus. Some people say that their cats love popsicles. You never know in this crazy world of ours. The good thing about citrus peels is that even if they don’t keep cats out of your garden, they’ll decompose quickly—plus it’s extra incentive to get your daily vitamin C. Throw the peels from your pitcher of fresh squeezed lemonade or morning grapefruit into a food processor, grind them up, and then spread them around your garden.
Pine Cones: Cats love your veggie and flowerbeds because they’re full of soft, fluffy soil and mulch, perfect for digging into. Scatter pinecones densely enough throughout your beds, and perhaps the pussycats will cease pussyfooting around. Added bonus: Looks neat and lasts indefinitely. You can also try deterrents like holly leaves, liquidambar pods, and river rocks. Scratch that, cats!
Chopsticks: I don’t know what this says about me, but I love this idea. If you (like me) have a drawer-full of disposable chopsticks from your local Chinese take-out, stick them around your beds, close enough together to make it difficult for cats to walk around. Plastic forks and spoons and Popsicle sticks poking out of the soil may also achieve the same goal. Plus, you’ll clear out a drawer of clutter!
Rubber Snakes: Well, wouldn’t you be spooked if you found a snake in your toilet? Move them around often enough so the cats don’t discover the ruse.
Herbal Remedies: Will lavender, rue, geranium, lemon-thyme, and pennyroyal keep cats out of your beds? There’s only one way to find out. I’ve already planted some lavender and some rue. RISKS: Some people are extremely sensitive to rue, and may experience severe skin irritation from handling it. I did not know this when I planted it in my lettuce beds.
Coleus canina AKA Scardy Cat AKA Dog be Gone AKA Piss Off: Coleus canina has been said to repel cats, dogs, and rabbits, though its effectiveness hasn’t been scientifically proven. You can buy it online in a few places, including Amazon.
Coyote/Fox Urine and Lion Dung: I thought that commenter “Jon Doe” was kidding when he suggested spraying coyote urine around the perimeter of our house and on our trees, but believe it or not, products like Shake Away and Silent Roar actually use urine and feces from predators to scare off cats. They come as granules and pellets, respectively. Whether or not they work is up for debate, though the Shake Away reviews on Amazon aren’t promising.
Tea Leaves: There seems to be a general consensus that while they’ll happily partake of the clotted cream, cats are not interested in the cup of tea. Empty your tea ball or bags into your garden beds and see if the local cats turn up their noses.
Motion-Activated Deterrents: Contech makes a number of motion-activated sprinklers and ultrasonic noisemakers that scare cats away. The CR0101 Scarecrow has excellent reviews on Amazon and is purportedly very easy to set up. Depending on the size and shape of your yard, you may need a number of these babies. Could get expensive, but also seems to be the most effective.
Cocoa Mulch: Some people say that cocoa mulch deters cats, other say it attracts them, but all too many people say it’s potentially dangerous to them (and to dogs) for it to be worth the risk.
Catnip: Obviously not a deterrent, but I’m thinking about secretly planting it around the yard of the woman who feeds the feral cats on our street, in an attempt to keep them on her property. Hmm, maybe I’ll leave a sandbox with a bunch of catnip all around it on her front lawn.
Chicken Wire: Reader Jennifer Click shared her own experience using chicken wire to try and dissuade the neighborhood cats from relieving themselves in her raised beds. Lay small sections of it over your beds, and then cover it with mulch before seeding your garden. Alternatively, lay the small pieces down in between your seedlings and cover with mulch or compost. You’ll be able to lift the small sections of chicken wire to work the soil, but the mesh should still deter the cats from scratching and digging.
It’s only a matter of time before my garden is booby trapped with motion-sensor sprinklers, rubber snakes, pinecones, rotting citrus peels, lion dung, and human hair. Want to come for dinner?
